


Incompatibility

by eyemeohmy



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Douchebaggery, Drabble, M/M, Other, Unrequited Lust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-29
Updated: 2014-01-29
Packaged: 2018-01-10 10:42:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1158696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyemeohmy/pseuds/eyemeohmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It would never work. Not in this lifetime, probably never in any possible lives to come. But lust doesn't equate love, nor do you even really need to *like* the person to fulfill physical desires. Still, no surprise being denied by the arrogant medic was like giving the term "shot down" a more literal meaning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Incompatibility

**Author's Note:**

> Old drabble. For all my love for this fucked-up duo, yeah, I know just how crazy and impossible it really, truly is. I'm completely aware.
> 
> Plus, I love unrequited things and hurting characters I adore. I'm a sadomasochist, okay?

”You don’t think I haven’t noticed, do you?”

Ambulon stopped disinfecting the scalpel; the room was quiet for a moment, save the hiss of running solution and soft clicking. Ambulon, however, went back to cleaning without responding.

"Come now, Ambulon. I’m more perceptive than you think, you know. A good doctor has to be."

"Is that so?" Ambulon replied. Kept his optics on the instrument in his hand; listened to Pharma fiddle with equipment across the room. "But whatever it is you claim to ‘notice’ about me can—"

"Isn’t it best to crush a weed before it grows?"

Ambulon frowned. “… Right,” he said. He set the scalpel aside; everything was neat and tidy, and he was grateful he was done. That he could get the Hell out of this room. “I’m finished,” he stated, turning off the running tap. “I need to get to my rounds in five kl—”

But as Ambulon was heading for the door, schedule datapad in hand, he was suddenly yanked aside; nearly tripped on his own feet before he was thrust into the wall, back hitting the steel with a hard _thunk_. Bright, annoyed yellow optics flew up to meet Pharma's gaze; the agitation turned into unease when the Autobot leaned forward, nearly face to face now.

"I’m not about breaking things so much as putting them back together," Pharma said, "but knowing how to put things together means I know exactly _how_ to take them apart.”

Ambulon’s optic ridges furrowed. “I have to get to my shift,” he insisted, curtly. He turned to leave. “So if you don’t—” But then Pharma abruptly slammed a hand against the wall, right next to his head, just barely missing Ambulon’s face by a half-inch. Ambulon went wide-eyed again, forcing himself to look back at Pharma who was still too uncomfortably close.

"I’ll make this quick, mind you. I don’t like it when you’re late to work, as you know," Pharma said, smoothly. He smiled. "You’re a combiner unit, so you won’t mind if I come off as a little too strong. You know how subtlety is, more often than not, very frustrating and time consuming."

Ambulon wanted to tell him he was wasting his time right now.

"Your love for me is… interesting, I will give you that," Pharma continued, and Ambulon felt heat rush into his cheekplates, spark skipping a pulse. "Hmm, but ‘love’ is much too strong a word. Your… interest and desire in me are almost flattering, if not completely surprising. Given our professional relationship has a tendency to become quite strained, and we lack any sort of personal, formal relationship outside of business. You don’t hate me--that is too strong a word as well--but you certainly don’t like me." His grin widened. "But since when did liking someone have anything to do with wanting to interface with them?"

Ambulon swallowed, loudly. “If you’re done fooling around—”

"The answer is no. Not only no, but never."

Ambulon was… strangely a little taken aback by that.

"Not in this life, and never in a thousand more," Pharma continued, sounding so aloof. "Your past is not the only thing I find detestable. Your reason for joining the Decepticons wasn't grounded in good intentions or whatever lie you tell yourself to believe you’re a better person." Huh, and that was almost funny, coming from someone like Pharma. "I may not know why you joined the Autobots, but I know why you fled, and cowardice is hardly an attractive feature."

"I’m not a coward," Ambulon scowled. "Stop—"

"Let me finish," Pharma interjected. "Your sympathetic nature is misguided. You often forget where your priorities lie as you do your loyalty, it seems. Your personality is surprisingly bland, which is in itself also a compliment; it makes you less of a challenge, and less likely to stir trouble. Even though quite often you’re fond of arguing with me. You’d think you’d recognize your place, and who you should thank for the fact you’re not rummaging in the gutters right now.

"Furthermore, while intelligence and ‘spirit’ are usually the deal breakers, physically speaking, you’re hardly attractive," Pharma continued. "It’s not only your paint job, or whatever you call that sorry mess. Do you have no desire to make yourself more presentable? And-- Sleek? Hardly. Cluttered? Definitely. And once I caught a patient addressing those extensions on your helm as ‘turbofox ears.’ Isn’t that adorable? And a bit embarrassing? But I do have to agree, unfortunately. With the second half, that is."

Pharma leaned in, until their noses were almost brushing. If anyone were to see them right now, without any form of context or explanation, it would appear as if they were about to start furiously kissing. But instead, in such a soft but ridiculously cruel voice, Pharma said, “So, the answer is no. The answer is never. You’re better off sticking to _your own kind_. To lower myself even for a simple interface with you would be just as insulting as dragging myself through mud and glass. But, like I said: I do find it interesting. And highly amusing.”

Ambulon remained quiet still. Pharma waited patiently. Raising his optics and meeting his gaze, Ambulon calmly retorted, “A simple ‘no’ would have sufficed. But I forget you love listening to the sound of your own voice, especially if it strokes your oversized ego and bloated sense of superiority.” He sighed. “It’s really quite unfortunate such a lovely frame of yours is tarnished and ruined by all the muck inside. And I know you think no one is good enough for you, but you’d be surprised to find it’s mostly the opposite. You do realize you alienate more people with your attitude, right? Let me know how that goes for you.”

Ambulon pushed Pharma’s arm away before he could reply. “Now, if you’re quite done playing with yourself,” he said, “I’d like to get back to work.” And then, he was gone.


End file.
